The Music Box
by LLuNarEcLiPsE
Summary: It was in these few last moments where they could say whatever they were feeling. And even when tears were streaming down their faces and kisses were exchanged between words, she couldn't find herself able to face it all. As she took her last breath she smiled knowing that her love for him will always be inside their music box. She knew he would always remember Christmas Eve.


The Music Box

Silence, the one sound that every person can enjoy- the wonderful silent music that plays calms us somehow. Breathing, it came the easiest to us all, something that any person once had no difficulty conducting. Yet, why was it so hard for me? The answer is simple. Being sick is not one's ideal way of spending the holidays, but some of us have no say in the matter. It wasn't fair though, winter was such a magical time of year and I unable to enjoy such a sight. The window on my left was the only view to the outside world I had. A winter evening was so beautiful to me. The small ice crystals floating to the ground in such a delicate way.

Warm apple pie could be smelled in the air- a mixture of pine from the Christmas tree standing in the corner. Now, the Christmas tree was beautifully lit. It was flourished in red and gold ornaments with small, intricate designs meticulously crafted upon them. Its red lights blinked in a pattern- up and down and side to side. I smiled at the few homemade ornaments Sasuke and I had made when we were first dating. One particular one caught my eye- you could see me covered in head to toe with paint splatters, a grim expression on my face as I glared at the laughing man holding a paint brush. We had just moved in together, both of us were painting the small apartment a light blue at the time. Those pictures were filled with miraculous memories that I cherished deeply. My eyes traveled to the top of the tree where the star stood proudly, a small swirl in the center, the leaf symbol.

I was completely engrossed in the tree- no, not _the _tree, _our_ tree; the last one I would e_ver_ get to see.

I was sick, dying of lung cancer; it wasn't as hard as they say it is. You got use to the pain after so long, the kimo helped only silence it for a while. I had lost my hair already and it wasn't going to grow back. I had refused to wear a wig claiming, "I'd rather go bald then wearing someone else's hair!" Of course, it was hard at first, just the fact of knowing that you were dying. It was devastating to know that I could do nothing about it. The doctor had told me I would only live till new years at the most. I could still remember coming home and telling Sasuke, his reaction wasn't any better than mine. Now, Sasuke never cries, he is a tough guy who says that you can make it through anything if you put your mind to it.

XXX

"_This can't be true, Sakura! They had to have mixed up your results with someone else!"_

_I sighed and ran a hand through my thinning hair. Sasuke's red-tinted eyes indicated that he was ready to cry. He wouldn't let it though, Sasuke never showed weakness- not even in the slightest._

"_Look Sasuke, you and I both know they didn't. It makes sense! The bloody coughing, loss of hair, and how pale I've become! Stop lying to yourself and face it! I'm _dying,_" I trailed of in the end as a sob escaped my lips. Sasuke's eye widened for a fraction of a second before he enveloped me in a hug. He rubbed soothing circles on my back as I clung to his shirt and lets my tears fall._

"_Shh, please, Sakura. Don't cry, I will make this better, I won't let you leave me."_

_Another sob racked my body as I buried my face into his chest, "thank you, Sasuke."_

_XXX_

But now though, I think it finally set in on both of us. We knew wouldn't make it through this- Sasuke wasn't stupid, he knew that he couldn't make it better. It was hard for him to accept that; he told me not to worry though- he'll figure out a way to make everything better. Although, no matter how much he tried I wasn't going to make it. My skin was so pale, almost translucent. I'd go to bed every night wondering if I'd ever wake up.

I felt worse today, past the point of exhaustion and my breathing felt like I had a ton of bricks sitting on my lungs weighing them down. Sighing, I glanced outside again; I place a hand against the window. The cold bit at my skin, but I loved it. I missed the snow- it was my favorite gift from mother nature. Yet, I haven't been able to see it once, it was irritating almost. My head snapped towards the front door as my thoughts were interrupted when I heard it click open.

"Sakura?" Sasuke asked sitting down next to me. I felt a smile tug at my lips as I stared at his gorgeous face. His hair was in his usual up-do. His raven-colored bangs fell into his face as he stared at me intently waiting for my answer. I pushed them away and kissed his forehead, "Yes?".

He was tired, worn out- you can tell it aged him. everytime he looked at me I could see the hurt in his eyes, the sympathy he mourned.

"You look tired, why don't you go to bed?" He asked. It was sweet of him to make an effort to act like I wasn't sick.

"I don't want too, it's just so nice. The snow is falling outside, a beautiful rare sight for here." A smile graced my lips as I stared at him.

He shrugged, "hn." Oh how that annoyed me, his one worded answer. I've grown to love it though.

I snuggled into his side and rested my head on his shoulder. Grabbing another blanket from behind, he placed it over us.

"I miss it." I said breaking the silence.

"Miss what?"

I smiled and nodded towards the window, "The snow, I miss playing in the snow, Sasuke."

"You know I can't let you out there."

I did know that, but I was yearning for it.

"I know, but just too even touch it I'd be happy. After all, it only comes around once a -" I was interrupted by a coughing attack. Sasuke looked at me sadly- blood filled my mouth and trickled down my chin. He used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe away the crimson liquid.

"I can't stand this!" He yelled standing abruptly from his seat quickly.

"Sasuke-"

"No! Let me finish. I can't stand knowing your dying Sakura! You mean everything to me, do you have any idea how hard it is to go to work and come home wondering if you'll be here waiting for me? How difficult it is to look at you and act like it's nothing! It hurts to know I can't do anything to help you, not even take the pain away for a second so when you're smiling I can tell it's genuine. _This_ is tearing me apart." He voice trailed off at the end. Tears ran down his face as he looked at me.

I was silent, his outrage was odd. It was true, everything he said was true. It did hurt him, I could see it in his eyes, read it in his face,_ hear_ it in his words. And dammit, it hurt me too.

"Come here," I beckoned getting off of the couch and slowly walking over to the tree, "there's something I'd like to give you."

I took a small blue box out from under it- carefully wrapped in blue paper with small snowflakes scattered through it- a white bow in the center.

"It's not Christmas yet Sakura, tomorrow."

"Just open this one, just for me. It won't hurt to open a present up a day early." I sat down next to him and placed the box on his lap. He looked up at my curiously as I nodded in encouragement.

His rough hands ripped away at the present. The wrapping paper falling all around us, I was smiling wildly at him. He reached the small brown box inside and opened it. A tune filled the room.

Remember last Christmas Eve  
When we sat next to our first tree  
Ornaments reflected light  
Of a candle in the night

And I gave you a music box  
Back then that seemed like so much  
We watched it go round and round  
As the melodies unwound

But all these things are now long gone  
And not to be wished upon again

But the musical box continues to turn  
The candle in the window continues to burn  
But I know they're just memories  
Like Christmas past and you and me

Remember that old fireplace  
That held the room in warm embrace  
And as we watched for Christmas ghosts  
The fire held the shadows close

But now upon that Christmas scene  
The candle wax of melted dreams  
And ornaments of shattered glass  
Now belonging to the past

But all these things are now long gone  
And not to be wished upon again

But the musical box continues to turn  
The candle in the window continues to burn  
But I know they're just memories  
Like Christmas past and you and me

I smiled at Sasuke and closed the box.

He was silent.

He _was_ crying.

"Sasuke, I know this is hurting you. It's hurting me too. I don't want to leave you. I love you- I love you _so much, _but this is something I cannot control. It's in God's hands now. You are doing so much for me Sasuke, just by sitting here next to me is doing something. By just smiling at me is taking away the pain if only for a moment. This is a music box Sasuke, this song is something I used to sing when I was younger. I want you to have it. Keep it with you forever. This is me, this is the one thing I want you to remember me by. Remember me with memories Sasuke. Lose yourself in those memories and I'll never be gone. I'll always be with you. Know that, remember that- _keep_ that."

His red eyes locked with mine as I used the pad of my thumb to wipe a tear off his cheek. He grabbed me, pulling me to him and cried into my shoulder.

"I'll never forget you Sakura, no matter what. This music box will stay with me for forever." His voice broke through his words. We were silent after that; I stayed in his arms for a while, we were both crying. We weren't crying because of pain, nor was it sorrow- we were crying because we _loved _each other.

We walked up to our bedroom, our hands enlaced as his larger, calloused one held my soft one. I changed into my pajamas- a pair of sweat pants and a long sleeved shirt. I usually become chilled during the nights. Lying down on the bed, Sasuke pulled the covers up over me. The matress dipped slightly as he lied himself down next to me. A strangled sigh escaped his lips as his arms encircled my waist and pulled me flush against his chest.

As he fell into a deep sleep next to me, I carefully counted each thump of his heart. Eventually, his arm fell off and I turned around to face him. His warm breathe fanned my face as I watched his features closely. He looked peaceful with a small smile playing at his lips. I brushed his a few stray hairs away from his eyes as I studied them. His lavender colored eyelids showing as I ran the pad of my thumb over them.

I looked over at the clock's blinking numbers, it read: 2 am. Snow was still falling outside and it didn't look like it'd stop anytime soon. Smiling, I slowly got off the bed and stopped to look behind me once I reached the door- he was sound asleep. I stumbled a few times going down the stairs- my body was succumbing to the pain. I made it to the front door as I sat down on the couch before the front door. I was running out of breathe; my wheezing was getting worse. I wrapped a jacket around me as I opened the door and walked outside.

The snow fell in small delicate crystals as I took a tedious step forward. I couldn't help the smile tugging at the corners of my lips as I looked up at the tiny flurries falling down from the bruising sky. A snowflake fell on my nose and a few landed on my pink hair. I continued to trudge further out into the yard, but I couldn't help how heavy my feet felt. The large cherry Blossom trees that grew across from us were becoming tiny pink and brown blurs. Blinking a few times, I strained my eyes to focus on them until the picture cleared- it didn't.

I felt my body drop for a moment as I caught myself before falling to the ground. The action continued to repeat itself as I began to panic. Gravity finally won as I collapsed on my side into the snow. Covering my mouth with the palm of my hand I coughed a few times. They felt like the usual cough that I would receive from time to time, but then, I pulled my palm away- blood.

I rolled myself over and blinked warily at the night sky. The blood that I had coughed up trickled down my face and made a red blotch in the snow. Yet, I couldn't help, but smile as I began to move my arms and legs in and out. I was making a snow angel. Another harsh cough escaped me as my head whipped forward. Black dots were crowding my vision as I tried to blink them away. It was all slowly fading into black; the winter sky slowly engulfed me. My breathing slowed and came to a gradual stop.

XXX

Sasuke blinked a few times as the harsh rays of light peered through the blinds. Groaning, he rolled over and snuggled further into his pillow. His palm stretched out as he reached over to the other side of his bed. His eyes shot open as he bolted upright from his bed. His horrified face staring at the place where his Sakura slept.

It was empty.

"She must've went downstairs." He mumbled as he ran a hand through his bedhead. Smiling lightly, he swung his legs over the bed and removed himself from it. He let out a purr of contentment as he stretched his stiff limbs. He then made his way downstairs.

"Sakura." He called out as he covered his mouth to stifle a yawn.

Silence.

"Sakura, stop playing around, where are you?"

Still no response.

Still slightly disoriented he moved towards the kitchen, but a small shiver made its way up his spine as he paused in mid-step to glance at the front door. It was slightly open and the cold air was whizzing through the opening.

"That women." He chided as he moved to open the door.

"Sakura, what did I tell you about going in the sn-"

Sasuke's eyes widened as his whole body went stiff. A small blotched of pink and red was peering through the white snow.

"_Sakura?_" He cried as he ran over to her in his bare feet and dug his way through the snow. A muffled cry escaped him as his arms encircled the lifeless body. Her eyes were closed and her blue lips were tilted in a small smile. Panicking, he moved a hand to searched for her pulse at the neck.

"Dammit! Please, Sakura! Breathe!"

If the cold body didn't give any indication of death, the lack of pulse sure did.

"Y-you promised me, Sakura. You left me here alone," he whispered as he held her close to his chest. His hand running through her hair a few times as he tried to smooth away the loose strands hanging in her face.

"Please." He mumbled as he pressed a soft kiss to her cold forehead.

Sasuke finally broke down as he shook violently. The tears cascading down his face as he cried out her name. He loved her so much, yet he didn't even get to have her. It wasn't fair, all he wanted was to show her how special she is and he wasn't even given the chance. He sat there cradling his lover's body in his arms as rocked back and forth on his knees.

He was heartbroken.

He couldn't ever be the same.

He would _never _the same.

XXX

Sasuke held the urn tightly to his chest as he walked out into his backyard. No, he wouldn't say that, it was t_heir_ back yard. He made his way to the cherry blossom tree standing diligently before him. Sakura loved the snow so much even to the point where she would make sure she saw it one last time. Sasuke didn't ever want it to be her last. With trembling hands, he opened the seal to urn and stared at the ashes filling it.

His love.

Sakura Haruno.

Slowly tilting the urn down, he scattered her remains into the white snow below her favorite tree.

For some reason, he knew she was staring down at him with a smile on her lips. Somehow, she still held him close to her. He could practically feel her warmth encircling him as if she was wrapping her arms around him in an embrace.

XXX

"_Sasuke!" A pink blur tackled him onto his back as he turned his head to look at the mess of hair sprawled over his chest._

"_What, Sakura?" He asked as he placed a kiss on the top of her head. Her emerald eyes glanced at him for a moment before she gestured to the large Sakura tree hovering over them._

"_Lets make this our tree, Sasuke."_

_He chuckled lightly before questioning her, "why this tree?"_

_She smiled lightly before placing a chaste kiss to his lips._

"_Because, this is my favorite tree."_

XXX

Another cry left Sasuke as he stared at the ashes scattered across the ground. She had to be happy. Sakura was with her beloved snow under her favorite tree- he wanted her to believe he was happy that she was. Yet, he couldn't lie to himself. She couldn't be happy- she left him. In the back of his mind he could still hear the soft melody of the music box she had given him just a week ago.

Clutching the urn closer to his chest, he let a small smile settle on his lips as he looked up toward the sky, his tongue slightly sticking out.

A snowflake fell on it.

The ice melted as he swallowed it gingerly.

"Thank you, Sakura."

With that, he walked away- humming the familiar tune- towards their home. He was broken inside, never to be repaired, but he didn't want to be repaired. He would never be perfect without her.

He loved her.

Materials used: Trans-Siberian Orchestra's "Music Box Blues"


End file.
